on anxiety
a prayer about the only antidote to a world that will not hold still
Dear Heavenly Father,
You already know what we walked in here carrying tonight. You see the exhaustion underneath our composure, You hear the thoughts we can’t bear to say out loud.
Lord, how long? How long will we choose to carry it all? How long do we have to pretend? Why does life sometimes feel like something to survive? Why does my mind beg me to plan and plan and make more plans? Why does my body never sit still? Why is it that when I’m not doing something, I feel I am a failure? Why do we feel helpless when our loved ones are sick? Why does it feel like there is nothing we can do? Why does the very world you created not hold still?
I cannot keep silent. I speak from the anguish of my spirit. I am tired of myself.
Job said that, Lord. And at the end of it all — You looked at him and said: he spoke what was right. You did not rebuke him for his honesty. You called it truth. So we say it too.
What is it that we really fear Lord? And why do we try everything but You? We have turned inwards to our very flesh to resolve the anxiety that is around us and within us. We have turned to the world. We have taken on pride and control. We have labeled it responsibility but really it’s just anxiety. We have turned away from you. We have sought you last.
Forgive us Lord. We go everywhere but your presence with our anxieties. We suppress them, distract ourselves, or we turn them into relentless ambition. We live in shame of the way we feel — so we hide it, even from You. We do everything we can until we burn out. We have placed our hope in outcomes we cannot control and futures we cannot see.
Underneath all of it is a person who is desperate to feel secure in a world that has given us every reason not to be.
But Lord, you made us to need security.
Your word says Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.
Not manage it. Not minimize it. Cast it. Throw it into the depths of your arms.
Not because I’ve earned your attention. Not because I’ve been faithful enough.
But because you care for us.
Lord, we give it all to you. We cannot carry this. We were not made to. We choose to come to you first. To pray before we act. Like King Jehoshaphat, we are terrified. We do not know what to do. But our hope is in you.
Because the only antidote to a world that will not hold still is a God who does not move. So we focus on who you are.
May your unfailing love surround us. In you, our hearts rejoice. You made our hearts, so you understand everything we do. You made this world, so you govern the mountains and the seas. The earth is yours and everything in it. You make nations rise and make nations fall. You command the sun to rise and to set. You established your throne in heaven. You conquered death.
Before the mountains were born, before you brought forth the earth — from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You were before all things and in You all things hold together.
So we trust in your holy name. The name above every name.
Deliver us from every fear Jesus.
And keep us convinced. Convinced of your peace that surpasses all understanding. Convinced that you are not slow in keeping your promises to us. Convinced that you know what is in the darkness, that you see the end from the beginning. That you know all of our anxieties. That what we are afraid of is not outside your reach — nothing is.
Keep us convinced that we can only depend on you. That dependence is not weakness. That we don’t need to be stronger or more capable or more in control. Hold our conviction when we cannot hold it ourselves. Speak to us in the morning. Tell us do not be dismayed, for I am your God. You are mine. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Where you go, I will go Lord. For whom have I in heaven but you, my God. And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
We open our hands tonight Lord. We reach up to the heavens where our help comes from. We renew our vow to come to you first in our time of need. We choose to be honest with you about our fears. We name them all to you Lord. And we let it go. We cast them all upon you. And we trust that you will never let us go. That you will be with us until the end of the age. And that that is enough.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.